I'm sorry you've come to a such a sad juncture in your relationship. You may be quite right about everything you suspect. Still, you are doing a lot of surmising about what he is thinking. You don't sound paranoid to me. As I've said you may be correct. The pattern of behavior that you're describing sounds pretty fishy to me. But I think you are putting yourself under an intolerable amount of stress with the plan you describe: to just act like everything is normal, until the semester concludes.

I'm not saying to kick your boyfriend out tomorrow. It's generous of you to be willing to let him stay for the semester. If you really want to do that, then maybe that's okay. But I don't see how you can keep your sanity and do what you need to do at school or at work, while you feel he is just there for a roof over his head. At least, I think you need to put your misgivings out there. Not to get into an argument . . . just to let him know that you are this convinced that something is very wrong with the relationship. You could try to say, as calmly as you can manage, that you believe the two of you should separate in three months.

Like you say, you can't accuse someone of what you don't really know is true. But there are things you do know for sure. You do know that you don't trust him and that you don't believe he is fully committed to you. Regardless of what he is, or isn't, doing on line - he isn't bringing enough to the relationship to make you feel you want to continue it. That's reason enough to end it.

His crying is interesting. It sounds like there is a dependency imbalance. Where you're living is more your place than his. I'm basing that on you saying that you may ask him to leave when the semester is over. So where the two of you live is basically your apartment. That's what I mean by a dependency imbalance. He is dependent on you for a place to live. That's a bad situation. It gives him a motive to string you along, so as not to upset his applecart. Even you don't want to upset his applecart by not letting him stay the whole semester. You feel kind of responsible for his welfare, like he's someone you adopted.

I think that, when a man is willing to move in with a woman and basically live "under her roof," he's trying to recreate the security he had as a child with someone else providing for him. He's not wanting the responsibility of managing his own living arrangement. If he were, he'ld be sharing an apartment with some other guys going to his college. (That's actually a healthier thing for any college student - male or female - to be doing.) Then he'ld be free to "play the field," which may be what he wishes he were doing.

Whatever he is, or isn't, doing on line - he wasn't, and isn't, ready to make a mature commitment to you. He needs to grow up first. Part of that will involve him figuring out for himself how to have a place to live - without trading a pretend love commitment in exchange for some material security.

I'm not saying he was insincere when the two of you got together. He probably thought, then, that you were "the one" and this was it. When I was young, I thought that about a half a dozen guys - most of whose birthdays I can't remember now. I'ld be curious to know how long had the two of you dated before you began living together? You don't have to tell me. But the shorter the time was, the less of a chance this whole arrangement had of succeeding.

After he leaves living with you, he may jump right in to living with some other young woman. If that happens, thank your stars that you managed to severe the connection. A guy like that is perpetually in the market for someone to adopt him. Also, ask yourself why you are attracted to a man who does not come into the relationship as an equal partner.