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Originally Posted by Mysterious153
 Another random thought (I'm sure your mind has already explored this). The unpredictability of you mother's mood swings may have affected your brain in a "PTSD" sort of way. That kind of thing is more traumatic when you are very young. No, it's not as bad as people who have been abused or in a war zone but it still could have affected you in that sort of way. (Makes you really have empathy for people who have suffered worse abuse, doesn't it?) |
Yes, I have considered it. Apparently, my dad would "run interference" when I was very young and my mom was having a depressive episode. In the first few years of my life, she was also battling her own, actual postpartum PTSD (she nearly died giving birth to me) complete with anxiety attacks and physical impairment. Could this have affected me? Sure. I didn't really become aware of and afraid of my mom's moods until I was maybe 11 or 12.
I doubt it's any kind of pseudo-PTSD though. My generation (Millennials) is notoriously fragile, and everything causes PTSD today, it seems. I mean, in my mom's day, you just put up with bullying or fought back, and when you left school, it never bothered you again. No one got depressed about it, developed PTSD from it, or committed suicide over it. Likewise, I understand in the past it was normal for parents to beat their children - that was just called discipline. Now it's "abuse" and causes "trauma". My generation is inherently weaker than others, I don't know why. But I'm inclined to see these claims of "trauma" coming from obviously non-traumatic sources as ridiculous and weak (including in myself. I never insult a group unless I'm part of it).
Trust me, I would love for it to be valid. There would be a lot less shame and anger that way. But I can't accept it.
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 So I hope you are doing a little better this morning and I enjoy your penchant toward philosophical discussion (but try not to allow yourself to ruminate about philosophy so much that you're in utter anguish).
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Sleep always helps. I feel like I'm back to normal in a sense.
My philosophical streak is kind of artificial - the internet inspired it in me, and I'm not much of a truth seeker by nature. But I feel like I
should care about it and consider it.