I think this may be your "rock bottom", your "wake up call".
It seems you are taking it that seriously.

If i read it corectly, you both are struggling with alcohol?

If that is the case, you both need separate help to fix yourselves, then you should come back together and work on fixing the relationship.

Do you have pending legal issues against you in the future from this incident?

If you do, or if you don't, i think you should give some space, and really take sobriety seriously (not implying that you arent doing that now, but it's a long rough road that will have many ups and downs).

Are there kids involved?

How do your actions during the incident affect the 3rd person involved?

I really wish you the best! I'm sorry it got to such a bad place, but you can take this, and grow, and learn how to cope without harmful measures, like alcohol and anger.

And i apologize if i come off blunt, im trying to piece together what advice i can give with the information you feel comfortable sharing.