Quote:
Originally Posted by AVerySadThrow
Well...I mean, that's the problem. I can't. My inner critic tends to be more about what I can't do than what I do, although I've plenty of self-criticism on that too. Essentially, to be honest, when everything around you confirms what you inner critic is saying...no matter how unpleasant...I feel like its probably the truth. Even if it just constantly makes me feel worthless, unlovable, and like curling up into a ball and crying...
I mean, I'll be honest, I doubt I can get better. I don't like feeling like I do, but when its caused by myself just in my day-to-day life...I don't know if I change that, especially because there's evidence to back up every single thing the inner critic says, and nothing to the contrary.  |
If your inner critic is more about what you CAN'T do instead of what you actually do...... What's to stop you from doing those things except your negative self image? I'm assuming the things you can't do are things like asking someone on a date or having a well-paid career or learning a new language or losing weight. If you're upset that you're not Usain Bolt, I can't really help. Although even there, you could go to a track and train.
As far as all the evidence confirming what your inner critic says, it's very common for people with depression or low self esteem to ignore evidence to the contrary. I was very depressed recently, and I felt like I had no friends. In my mind that was completely true - I had no true friends, only acquaintances who didn't really care all that much. But in fact, I have several good friends, I just ignored them or discounted their friendship. "Oh, she only hangs out with me because she just moved here and doesn't know anybody." "He only talks to me because he feels sorry for me." Those are not true statements, but filtered through my negative mindset they seemed completely true.
What was mentioned earlier, about not knowing how to drive: as said, the only facts of the situation are that you don't know how to drive, and most people your age do. Any further statement is solely an opinion - it's based on what "should" be instead of what actually is. The problem with should statements is they can be completely wrong, especially if they're being filtered through that negative mindset. I could say I should have a boyfriend, most people my age do. But what if I don't want commitment, or want to focus on my mental health, or am too busy to give a relationship the amount of attention it deserves? On the other hand, maybe I do want a boyfriend, but I just haven't found the right person yet. So, should statements are completely useless. Stop listening to them.
ETA: the problem is believing that all your thoughts are true. Have you ever heard a girl call herself fat when you think she's thin or average? That's a perfect example. In her mind, the statement "I'm fat" is 100% true, but to the rest of the world she's nuts.