(((((((biiv)))))))

you're right, it's not on you to be the adult in this situation for them... how about for yourself? Can you get to a place, take some deep breathes, let some time pass, collect yourself and next meeting with them act completely detached to their mess? i mean i know obviously you're involved, but, your own point was it's their problem to deal with isn't it? if anything they should be protecting you from all this, shouldn't they? if they don't have concern for you, and hey, i bet their are max stressed, it seems like a good idea to give yourself some kinder attention...

praying for you...