thanks nowheretorun. i am as detached from their mess as i can be i think. my mum relies on me a bit and usually i can tell her when i cant take it but she just sounded so bad and scared me tonight. i guess the above was just a bit of a vent because im so frazzled and upset myself its just hitting me harder. and i really thought something was really wrong. i got quite a fright. i have to try to get some sleep now i think. not thinking straight.
thanks for the hugs.