so sorry you lost your friend.. a question sometimes i get confused, in order to not confuse members and who I am posting to sometimes I look back at the posters last few posts. I noticed in a recent posting you said you were retired and needed ideas of what to do to keep the internal confusion in check and in this post you say you have a job, and that you flipped out and you walked out and quit...

see my confusion and question, not sure how to help you with this conflicting posts.

example if you are retired my suggestion was going to be check with some of the senior and disabled community resources. they may have a grief support group or office that may be able to help you.

but on the other side of the coin if you are working and walked out\ quitting your job out of grief maybe you can contact your boss and explain to them the situation. maybe your job has an HR (human Resources) office where you can get information on grief support while on the job.