The first time I actually had help. In fact help was thrust upon me. The second time I did it all on my own. es, I vaccilated between doing it and not but the situation went to a whole new level which I couldn't ignore any longer....

I was able to secure full time with my employer.
I made arrangements with my bank so I could miss some payments.
I secretly looked for and found housing.
* I registered with a, organization that offers help/support and safety.
I used my EAP (Employee Assistance Plan - most larger employers have these) for counseling services.

I just up and left.

It did mean leaving everything behind. I left with only what I could fit in my car. I did not fear him threatening me during the departure; however, the women's organization offered to send out a volunteer (most of them are police officers and military men) to watch over me and the move.

Unfortunately I do miss things I left behind but I remind myself it was a small price for freedom.

Church? Talk to them about this. You may be able to get a temporary place to stay and possibly financial help until you can get on your feet. If you can, ready your finances. If possible try to save a few dollars. I was able to borrow first and last month's rent and security deposit. Contact women's organizations.

My only regret this second time around is that I didn't press this legally. My EAP at work put me in touch with a lawyer but he saw it as too difficult for the money. I should have sought another until I found one who would help me. At the time I didn't realise there was anything to fight over - how very wrong I was.