So things are moving forward.. Everything is okay. I live with my father so I don't need to leave. Instead he left to stay with his mom, and brought the kids for a few days so I can clean up and get groceries and what not.. Uh. I feel a little paranoid and my dad feels a little paranoid about loosing the kids but I keep telling myself that isn't going to happen. He IS a good dad. Just not a good partner. So I'm trying to be calm.. My dad is going to watch the kids while I'm at work, so at least, finally I'm getting some support.

A problem currently that's freaking me out is he's on facebook telling me that it's hard to talk to his mom about why he's there because she's blaming me. For some reason she's thinking I'm hurting him and going to keep hurting him and I don't understand.. I'm freaking out. His mom was a domestic abuse surviver (his father) and I thought she'd understand.. It's really bugging me and I wanna cry and it isn't making me feel any safer about the kids now. If she blames me and he.. Ugh. I just wanted some time to clean up this pig pen and make it an actual home while I have some time off from work.. and I can't even do that without being scared.

Was that naive of me to let them go..? I feel so bad now..