Quote:
Originally Posted by Eamgr
Anyone ever feel like they are being judge or people are still stigmatising depression and anxiety.
I am finding that rather than just being there for me when I need them or giving me a hug and saying always here for you or it won't last forever which is what you want to receive when your feel down.
I've listed a few experiences as anyone else had the following said too them or similar ones.
1. You will get a job or the career you want just don't give up
2. Think positive thoughts and all your negative feelings will go away
3. Don't be sad just be happy
4. It's the depression and anxiety talking
5. Do something you enjoy and then you will be happy
6. Stop playing the victim
7. Be happier and more people will like you
8. Have more confidence and your more likely to get someone to go out with you
9. Take up a hobby
10. There are people who are much worser off than you.
I probably could list about a hundred but this is what I get from people who claim to be my friends and also from my family. They say they are here for you but when the time comes they either don't really want to know or they just say stuff like above.
For those who are not suffering with a mental illness or emotional problems etc. Being happy, enjoying life, having confidence and having full control of their mind is very basic. But they really don't know how difficult it is for people such as ourselves.
One day I know I'm going to flip at someone and say stop judging me  |
I agree that pretending things are ok when
they are not is completely counterproductive and nothing annoys me more than people who think they have an easy cure for depression.
Equally, sometimes the anxiety and depression shout so load that I see critical and malicious motives and attitudes in people that may not be there.
All I can do is question, question, question.
Is there a grain of truth in what someone says, and if so can I ditch the junk and learn from the one grain?
I think this person said/did this for a certain reason. Could there be any other explanation, different motive? Was it a clumsy attempt to be supportive that triggered my persecution complex? Could there be a less judgemental or vindictive reason for what they did than I assumed?
Even if the worst is true, there is no way of knowing for certain that there isn't a kinder reason than I think for someone's behaviour (unless they tell me so) and considering the less negative alternative reasons/attitudes for what people do helps me feel less pain.
It's not lying that everything is good, but admitting some of my interpretations may be more negative than the intention.
"Incompetence is more common than malice" is a quote I find helps me.
I share your anger that people try to fix us when they
have no clue what it is like to live in my head! However some do it because they care, which is hard to take but maybe we can find a way to benefit from the fact they do care.😉
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