Saw my pdoc yesterday. I have still been very depressed even though I have tried Lamictal, Latuda, Prozac and now 60mg Cymbalta. The Cymbalta has at least helped increase my cognitive abilities and enabled me to remain at university, although on a very p/t level. Tried a higher dose of the Cymbalta (90mg) and it made my heart race so increasing is not an option.

We discussed switching to Effexor but as that would involve lots of side effects and a period of instability, plus not knowing if I will end up in a worse place, we decided to leave things as they are. If I worsen and become suicidal or unable to work/study my doctor wants me IP to do the med switch.

Right now I am just barely managing to study and work. I do nothing else, barely shower, my Mum makes me frozen meals or I wouldn't eat and she does my washing. At 40 years old this is a little embarrassing but at least I can survive. I am so, so thankful for my amazing mother. This depression is really wearing me down. I feel no joy, no motivation, am so exhausted all the time and have lost interest in things I used to love.

I was badly mixed in June then had a month where i was ok and then fell into this depression. Guess it has only been two months but it feels like years. Maybe I just need to wait it out. hopefully the coming summer (Australian) will bring me out of it.