(((pachyderm)))
(((lizardl8y)))
(((aaaaa)))
(((perna)))
((((poetrylover))))

thank you to everyone for replying....... i really appreciate it....

i've been away for awhile, been reevaluating things. i've done a lot of reading on ocd and can't deny the dx anymore. i guess i didn't know as much about it as i thought i did. all those things i thought were quirks were symptoms. "obsessions and compulsions." the constant anxiety over the door and the stove and the building burning down, the checking, the number phobias, my need to have my dvds in alphabetical order and my books sorted by size....... even picking at my face, which i've been ragged on for by my sister for years.... i never knew this was what ocd was. i guess now i know. but even though the anxiety sucks, and that need to check things sucks, i'm really scared to change. it's been years and years that i've been doing these things. feels like it's part of who i am, and if it stops, who am i??? i'm still gonna try, but i'm scared. it's like changing myself into a different person or something. damn. i kind of wish i still thought i was just a freak.