i agree with everyones views on the need for boundaries, and more importantly sticking to them. i have stepsons as well. my husband's ex-wife is a nightmare! but we made a choice to try our best not to allow it to affect our relationship. i too have a child from a previous relationship. my husband and i discussed what we expected from eachother and our roles in the lives of the kids. we celebrate b-days and all other special days in our time with the kids. the ex-wife and her husband do their own thing on their own time. now when it comes down to something like schooling, behavioral issues etc, my hub and ex deal with that with eachother. i have no problem with that and feel at ease with how we have gone about this. and fortunately we have benefitted from our decisions. though u play an important role in the childs life, i feel u too should set your own boundaries so u won't be disappointed when u r not included in certain activities.

best of luck to u. definitely work this out before getting hitched.