Hi Yakmom,
It’s okay you can’t recall that much. What I have learnt from my dreams is that each dream scene is full of information for ourselves if we are looking for it. Dreams are for each of us to interpret on our own. Therefore, if anything I say below doesn’t resonate with you, then simply discard it. So with that said, off I go…

I always start with the location in my dreams. Why? I have found that the location, in effect spiritually frames in a dream. I could have selected anywhere for this recurring dream BUT I have selected this place for it.

The first thing I note is that I am outside in the sun. In my dreams, this is usually what I call a “teaching dream”. The sun is a symbol of my higher self. It is shining down on me spiritually “en-lightening” me.

My son and I are in a pasture. There is a creek with water flowing away from me. Nature in my dreams is a symbol of my feminine. Water is also a symbol of my feminine. I note it is “running away from me” rather than towards me.

My son is in the dream but 7-8 years of age. Is this my son or, is he a symbol? A symbol. Of my masculine. So why is my masculine showing myself at the age of 7-8 years. I am showing myself that something happened to me when I was this age that I need to go back and review.

And there is always a monster in my dream that my masculine is running away from (just like the water flowing away from me)…an alligator. I am very scared of it.

Who’s the alligator? My totem. Totems are spiritual guides that use different forms to work with us. When I come across totems in my life or those of others whom I help, the first reference I use is “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews. Here’s what Ted has to say about alligators…

“ALLIGATORS and CROCODILES
KEYNOTE: Primal Energies of Birth, Motherhood, and Initiation

Alligators and crocodiles have had mixed symbology and imagery throughout the ages. To the ancient Egyptians they have been associated with fury and ferocity-the same aspects often given within mythologies to the unbridled feminine/ creative forces of the world. The viciousness and destructive power was often symbolized as a mother swallowing her young. Inherent within this was the idea that there could not be death without life or life without death.

All alligators and crocodiles inhabit the water and the land. Water was always associated with the Great Mother, the feminine principle of life and therefore birth. Water, though, can also swallow you up. Creation and destruction and the
more creation. This is the primal essence reflected within these reptiles.

Birth and death in any form are initiations, events that mark the end of one period and the beginning of a new. This indicates the culmination of knowledge on one level and the seeking for newer knowledge on others. All of this is reflected within the essence of alligators and crocodiles.

They patrol the waters and the shorelines that separate land from waterbirth from death, etc. In this sense they can be seen as the keepers and protectors of all knowledge. They are the primal mothers in whom all knowledge rests and waits to be born.

This becomes even more significant when we realize that crocodiles and alligators are excellent mothers, which is unusual among reptiles. Both lay between 20 and 60 eggs, and when the young develop enough within the eggs to begin squeaking from the inside, the mother answers and helps them to hatch. She then carries them gently in her mouth down to the water.

Aside from the mothering energies attributed to these reptiles, they have been depicted in other ways as well in mythology. In the Hindu tradition Va run a, the god of waters, rides on a crocodile’s back. Also in Egypt, because of its association with mud, it was often used as a symbol for fertility and power-with mud being the mixture of water and earth that enables new life to grow.

In medieval Europe and earlier, because of their appearance (long body and tail), the alligator and crocodile were associated with the dragon. Sometimes it had the dragon’s negative correspondence and sometimes the more positive. The dragon was often the guardian of treasures, often symbolic of hidden wisdom. Because alligators and crocodiles seem to hide within the water while guarding them, they were given the same role as the mythical dragons-the guardians of mystical treasures and wisdoms. To encounter an alligator or crocodile was to indicate an opportunity to begin to unfold and develop some new wisdom-wisdom that could swallow you up if not used carefully.

They are different animals, although close relatives. One of the primary differences is that the crocodile has a tooth that sticks upward from the lower jaw and the alligator does not. Alligators will build a nest of mud and leaves while the crocodile will dig a hole in the sand.

Crocodiles and alligators both have their eyes high on their head. This, of course, serves a practical purpose, enabling them to remain relatively hidden beneath the waters while still able to seek out prey. On a more symbolic level it hints at higher vision and clairvoyance.

Although often considered silent creatures, they do vocalize. They hiss loudly when
threatened. During mating season, they are known to roar.

Alligators serve a wonderful function in the conservation of other water animals. They will dig “gator holes”-small ponds of fresh water. These potholes in the mud slowly fill with the last remaining water in an area, creating a miniature oasis that will enable it and other animal life to survive.

The alligator has a much more rapid growth rate than the crocodile. The average adult can grow to be around twelve feet. It can grow as much as a foot a year until it reaches its ultimate length. In cooler climates, the growth rate is less. Alligators rarely live past the age of 60. For those with this totem, you will see opportunity for
initiation and the accumulation and use of new knowledge and wisdom occur more rapidly than with a crocodile totem, but it can also be more dangerous if not balanced. An alligator digests its food very slowly, reflecting a need to not go too fast too soon. Digest what you have experienced and learned before moving on to the knew.

The crocodile has its own unique characteristics as well. It is most famous for shedding its “crocodile tears” a phrase that hints at fake sympathy and sadness. A crocodile does shed tears, but it is not out of pain or sorrow. It is done to rid the eyes of salt. For those with the crocodile totem, care of the eyes will be important. If it has shown up as a totem, ask yourself some questions. Are you refusing to show emotions when you should? Are you showing emotions that are not true? Don’t allow yourself to be blinded by emotions.

A crocodile will also keep its mouth open for extra cooling. Yoga teaches different breathing techniques in order to affect different systems in the body and the flow of energy. There are “cooling breaths.” Studying and practicing these would be beneficial for anyone with this totem- especially when emotional situations around you begin to get hot.

If an alligator or crocodile has shown up, look for an opportunity to touch very primal energies. There is going to be an opportunity for strong birth and/ or initiation that will open new knowledge and wisdom in some area of your life.”

So, I am running away from a totem that is here to help me.

I then enter an old house and enter a long and dark closet. So what’s this about?

It’s what I call a “belief compartment”. I am surrounded by old beliefs that are now spiritually “hemming me in”. It’s also a low vibration set of beliefs, i.e. it’s dark.

The dream last night had my Mother, my Father (died at 71 stroke) and was so real that I can still feel their presence. But...in the dream I said "My mother died in 1983" and my Father said "Shut Up! You've destroyed everything!" So what’s the meaning of this?

Is my mother my mother in my dream? Yes. My father? No. Ah…he’s a symbol of what I call my old masculine. So what do I mean by this.

When I first began to record my dreams, I found there were frequently an old man and an old woman in my dreams. They might appear different BUT they were almost always in my dreams. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it.

Then, a young girl and boy began to also appear in the dreams along with the old man and woman. They too appeared differently. For a long while, they were what could be called “bit actors” in a dream scene sort of just following along.

As I used meditation, it came to me to use my higher self to help me interpret my dreams. So, slowly, I figured out the old man and woman were symbols of my feminine. Then I learnt, much to my own surprise, that the young girl and boy were symbols of feminine and masculine and were showing me what I could become if I choose to listen to myself.

I did. Slowly the old man and woman faded out of my dreams and the young girl and boy grew up.

So I realized I was showing myself to myself as well as giving me a vision of what I could become. I then called the old couple my old masculine and feminine and the young ones my new masculine and feminine.

In my dream, I’m using my son as a symbol of my young masculine. My father is a symbol of my old masculine.

There is something very significant that happened in my life in 1983 that I am directing my attention back to. I need to reflect on this.

My old masculine is saying… “Shut Up! You've destroyed everything!" My masculine is very afraid of my feminine. So I am using what I call a set of command/control beliefs to tell myself to “shut up”. I don’t trust my feminine and by trusting myself, my old masculine feels I will be destroyed.

If this was my dream I would be somewhat laughing at myself. Why? I am running away from the very thing that is there to help me, i.e. my totem. It’s because I am afraid to trust my feminine that the water is running away from me and I am running away from a totem that immerses itself in my feminine.

I am also sending myself a very strong message to reflect on the time when I was 7-8 years old and 1983. Whatever it is, it’s important for me to face myself.

I hope that some of what I have written resonates deep within you.

With kind regards,
Guy