I'm so sorry JustAFriend, I truly know the turmoil. I wish you didn't have to go through this. I awoke this morning at 4am in anguished turmoil. I just can't seem to process that he has done this to me. I just find a part of my mind just keeps going 'but, but, but' and remembers all the things he said like ' I will not drop you' 'I will always give you plenty of warning if I am having to stop work'. and 'I do not want to cause you more suffering'. On another forum a man keeps accusing me of being too close to my therapist (sorry EX therapist ) and that it is kind of his and my fault that I am suffering like this because I was too close to him and he let me be. I find that hard to get my head around too.
My (ex) T was like a dad to me, a dad I had never had, kind and caring and listening and there for me. So this is like a bolt out of the blue. I actually keep going cold all over.
I can't believe he has done this to me.