ok like honestly sorry if i am snappy at everyone but i feel like **** i am exhausted i want to scream and all i can think about is ending everything my head wont stop i cant stay in one place i keep laughing yet i feel horrible my head is going really fast but not in a nice way and i dont trust the doctors not even my normal psychiatrist anymore and i dont feel like myself anymore like i dont feel right and everything is ruined and i cant make it all stop and i just i am so freaking tired. there is so much going on and no one actually truly understands or knows just how much is going on not anyone i have been trying so hard to keep it together but i just feel like i am about to explode all the time. i just dont think i can do this anymore. the meds are poison and i want them out i want to go be with the angels that is where i need to be.