thanks all...

im ok...

i think its just that i have been trying so hard... but i feel like im spinning wheels in place and not getting anywhere... my tires are balding and the rubber wears thin...

the year is almost over again... ill have another birthday and a new year will come and then it will too be over... i have nothing to show for this year besides more scars..
no memories... im just tired of going through it..
having a hard time keeping up with the date... what year it is..

scared because im just getting older and i have yet to really live... i just want to have a life at this rate another 10 years will disappear and ill find myself sitting somewhere going through the same things...
feels like im already dead though, just as well, you know..? living hell...

so tired of trying to piece things together well enough to hold sanity... to not go mad because i dunno what im doing or where im coming from.. im so tired... i just want to be happy... but happiness seems so far away...

im sorry about not putting a trigger icon, i posted on tapatalk and i dunno how to do it on there..

im not going to do anything bad.. ill be ok...
thanks for being kind to me...