I agree Luce, thanks. I guess I'm slightly confused as a psychiatrist has said what I described to him shows that at times i can be on the verge of psychosis whereas therapists have said its more dissociation or just a natural part of human experience (I prefer the latter!). The experiences I have explained were the same to each person but perhaps the manner in which they were interpreted it was influence by their respective disciplinary backgrounds... or maybe the therapist actively seeing me dissociate enabled her to call it that whereas if she'd have listen to it they may not have thought anything of it or called it something else.

I do prefer experiences over labels too...but I'm concerned that I may be genetically hypersensitive not just hypervigilent or prone to that simply due to additional external stuff that's happened in my life. Or actually maybe the additional stuff changed my brain...come to think about it that's what the psychiatrist said (I think) so can it change back? If I'm now wired to react to very small stimuli that others don't, can I overcome this? They said it's like temporal lobe epilepsy...but not epilepsy! I wish they'd explain it straightforwardly! I guess I'm trying to set my expectations for therapy...life.

Thanks Amanda, that was very helpful. But this is some of my confusion..."feeling my hand is not my own but knowing that it is"...immediately in that remake you have assumed there is an innate strong sense of self. But what if you don't have that? What if you don't know who you are and who is you and who isn't you? I've taught myself this is the body I've been given but I don't feel it is mine, it just is. I don't know it is securely, I think it's as much transient as my moods are and find it interesting it doesn't change with me.

If you don't know who you are then there is space between 'you' and your body so who knows if others can get in. Now that sounds slightly like a delusional thought but I don't think it is...if I can float outside my body is it too much of a leap to assume someone can float in?

Is it factual reality that you're talking about in that I'm fully aware people speak to my face and body and that I have to do the same...but I've no idea if they're anymore there than I am half the time! I try not to think about that too much though as it freaks me out!

I really liked your explanation of fragile ego boundaries, that makes sense to me. I can see that coming from a trauma not knowing right and wrong at times, reacting defensively, impulsiveness etc. I guess stress can cause dissociation or psychosis and how it manifests is pretty much up for grabs?