I flipped out in work. I kept switching. Some of the cause was because a close friend of mine died and tomorrow is the wake. I not even sure I will make it through the wake. The pain of loosing him is overwhelming. I quit my job as I left. I think I want to stay away from people. I don't understand them. It's just all too loud. too weird. I was walking back from getting today and everything looked fake. I could see my feet walking and I was holding coffee but who gives a **** about coffee when my friend won't see his children grow up or grow old with his wife who he adored. nothing felt real and than I had to pull my **** together when I walked in the door at work. I didn't do to good because I didn't give a **** about what I was doing. My friend Tim died in his sleep of a heart attack, he was 47 married and the father of four. And it can't be fixed, it can't be undone. He died. it's so ****ed up. It makes no sense.