I'm posting a lot on here these past couple of days, I'm sorry, I'm just having trouble with my feelings!

I adore my T, she's amazing and helps me so much. But what I can't understand is the conflicting feelings I'm having about her/towards her. Sometimes I jump from liking/loving her and other times I really don't like her much at all. And on days I like her I really wish I didn't?

I'm just not sure where these push-pull feelings are coming from and why they are being stirred up now?

I'm so confused!