Thank you all so much for your supportive words. I feel so emotionally exhausted but am starting to feel like maybe this is a good thing. Maybe it means I can move past all the transference stuff faster and get on with grieving what I missed growing up. I'm still not sure I will take him up on the generous offer he made. I'll be eyeball deep in student loans when I graduate so not sure I want to owe even more. I don't know though. I'm going to ask him what the point would be of seeing him twice a week?

I have written him some crazy emails in the last few days. Like everything from weepy to super snarky to angry. I feel like my little parts are engaging in mutiny and my adult self is bound and gagged below deck. :/

Going to try to start doing some nice things for myself, like working out, and possibly start meditation/yoga again.

Many thanks for the supportive words. I can't tell you how much this site helps me...