Hello Shawn447: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

With regard to your post, no, you should not feel ashamed! For one thing there's no point to feeling shame. All it does is make you feel terrible (as I suspect you probably already know.) You're simply a young man. And young men, as a rule, have massive sex drives! Like everything else, I'm sure there are exceptions. But in general I think it's safe to say this is the case. Sometimes these sex drives can lead us astray.

On the other hand, there are certainly plenty of reasons not to do what you've been doing. For one it's probably illegal. It can also become addictive, as you know. There are sexually transmitted diseases to be concerned about. And some, if not all, of the young women you had sex with may be the victims of sexual trafficking. They're not doing it simply to make a quick buck. They're doing it because there is someone in the background... a pimp... who has them under his control. So your decision to stop soliciting prostitutes is a very good one! What's past is past. You can't change it. But you can make better choices from now on. It's like a saying I once heard: "No matter how far you've travelled down the wrong road... turn back!"

Now as far as how your family & friends would feel if they knew, & what you would or would not tell a future girlfriend, these concerns all relate back to that initial question regarding should you be ashamed. Now clearly, there's no reason for you to tell your family & friends of course. And I personally don't believe there's any reason to ever tell a future girlfriend unless you decide you want to & feel comfortable doing so. Perhaps others will disagree. But my personal opinion is that a romantic relationship should be based on what goes on between the two people involved as their relationship develops, not things that occurred before they knew each other. On the other hand, I do know how keeping these sorts of things to oneself can eat at a person. So, if you find that you simply can't let this go, seek out a counselor or therapist with whom you can establish a relationship & process how you feel about your experiences.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!