I feel like I've experienced this to some extent with my marriage counselor. He was talking about something in session, and I said I probably should have learned that in childhood. So it seems late to be learning it now. And he was like, "That's OK." As in, it was OK to be learning it now. He seems to be showing me the acceptance, validation, and reassurance that I didn't always get from my parents. I've had some paternal (and at one point erotic) transference for him, but he's helped me through that. I was afraid to share certain feelings with him, but it seems like anything I tell him, he'll just accept. I've had fears of abandonment by him, and he's talked about those fears with me (like on the phone or over e-mail) and reassured me.

I know it's a weird role for a marriage counselor to have--I have my own T, too, and have had a bit of maternal transference with her, but not to the same extent. But MC just seems to get it and understand what I need. From what he's said, he had some issues with his dad growing up, and he just seems to be really in tune with where I am right now and why. And his helping me with the whole reparenting thing (even though I don't think he'd say that's what he's doing) is definitely helping with my marriage. It's healing some wounds from the past, which will hopefully help me feel secure in my current relationship and help me in maintaining and nurturing my marriage.