...and there are so many seams! I don't know what to do with this feeling - it's like a leaden weight all throughout my lower ribcage, and somehow at the same time it feels like it's going to burst or explode outward in all directions! I can focus on reading, but anytime I'm not actively distracting my mind, the anxiety is really powerful, and with no particular focus. The, out of nowhere, I just drop into tears, again with no focus. And all the physical feelings of this...they're just so URGENT. I'm trying to focus my breathing, but it's not working. I was driving, and I started to rhythmically hit my head backwards into my headrest - that provided some relief. But I'm home now, with my kids, and I can't get a handle on this. I'm in my room, in my bed. I told them I don't feel well, and we don't have anything else going on today; I just have to get through dinner and bedtime, and then I can sort of fall apart, I guess, as long as I can put myself together again before they're up in the morning. I gave myself an out with the 2 plans we had made for tomorrow; will probably cancel those in the morning. It's been days of building this - more than a week. I was trying so hard to keep it at bay. Why won't this STOP!?!?!?!??!?!