I guess the one thing I have is hope. It amazes me that I have hopes even though for things getting better for me seems very hopeless. Whenever I have a bad day, I always would think that the next day will be better.

Also I have little "tools" that can help me along. The tools are: my bike, keeping busy, working (though the weekends can be hard when not being there), working out, using the pool area, and other things that I can't think of now. But there are times when those tools break down and it sends me in a downward spiral.

As weird as this may sound, before I would kill myself, I would sell my condo and move to a place where I would rather be. I'd like to experience having the cash from the sale, plus living in a better place (I would hope it would be a better place to live!). It could possibly make me feel better since I don't like where I'm living now. Plus I'm having to struggle financially right now.