I kinda think that at in any given situation we act the best way we can with the knowledge, understanding and abilities that we have at the time. It is incredibly unfortunate that your disclosure was muddied with the repressed memory thing that was going on at the time. It sounds like it affected things for you in a very negative way.
It seems like you have a better understanding of things now. That's a good thing. If only we could go back to our past selves and let them know what they have yet to learn!!