It takes a lot of uncomfortable talking, silences, angry outbursts, isolation and finally working through it together for a kid to get through that sort of event. Could be different for your kids, like it is for all but that's what I went through. I didn't discuss a lot of things with my mom and then I got extremely explosive and angry with her all of the time. Then I went back to not talking to her. When I was ready to ask questions, she answered. She explained things to me a bit more.
I don't know about the details they experienced. I was the one who had to pull my mom out of traffic and hide medication/alcohol. I think just the events themselves messed with me, let alone the idea that (true or not), my mom wanted to leave me in the most final way possible. I understand better now but it took me a while. They'll get there eventually. Takes time.
I'm glad you and your spouse have been able to repair the relationship. That will help out tremendously with everything. As for the job, you can't re-write the past and to be honest, I think you did and are doing pretty good, considering. To maintain any form of stability during a mental crisis is the most difficult task I've ever personally endured. To recover from it takes both patience and a lot of work. Be proud of that.