Can you go to a women's center and work on "if my husband finds out i will be beat up"? I don't know how much you lent your T but I lent a good friend money to save her house and I don't know how you did that without your husband knowing? That must be extremely stressful right there, worrying that your husband will find out. I would find a "practical" sort of caring place and see if I couldn't get me (and my children if you have any) away from that man and then worry about your therapist's unprofessional behavior later. I assume you wrote her a check or have some record of the transaction?

Do NOT give up on yourself, you are all you have and it looks like you are a caring, resourceful woman. Work on the "problem" in a practical way for awhile and see if you can find some piece that will straighten out and make things safe for you physically and emotionally.