Well, I am trying but failing Pachyderm. He's given up on me because I've given up on myself. I don't know where to go from here. I feel invalidated and bad.

Anyway, anything that you think or feel is not small to you and it won't be small to us. Some might think I'm fretting over nothing who knows.

Confusion is part of the process but it is also painful especially for those like me who read into every word and tone of voice...