Hearing her news is understandably shocking and all of your feelings and questions are valid. I bet it was like re-opening a wound that had maybe just started healing. You were together over 6 years - it's a long time. It is hard to heal in the beginning.

Unfortunately, reviewing all the details of her thought process will not likely amount to the most important thing at this stage which is YOUR HEALING. It's easy to get caught in that thinking/re-thinking/reviewing/ruminating "loop" as one therapist calls it. There is nothing we can do to bring them back and we need to let go.

What are some ways you've been coping with the breakup so far? Here are a few things that helped me.

Participating in the forum and chat: This forum is a wonderful place. So many resources to help you through and so MANY wonderful people. One helpful thing I'd like to recommend the article on Grief The 5 Stages of Grief & Loss | Psych Central

Therapy: If you're not in therapy, it might be helpful to find the right one.
There are many wonderful helpful people on YouTube.. Alan Robarge spoke directly to what I was going through and he generously has SO many videos on his channel.

No Contact: There is also a book called Getting Past your Breakup by Susan Elliott. She ALSO has a ton of videos on Youtube. In the link I posted here, she talks about NO Contact. I can attest that truly going no contact with my ex is the thing that catapulted my healing. I took him OUT of my consciousness and I had no where to look but forward. It brought a lot of relief to truly let go - no just friends, no just facebook friends, no texting, no demanding answers, no needing closure, just NO MORE him in my consciousness.

Friends, Journal and being your own best friend: Typing my thoughts into a freeform word document journal on my computer took a lot of pressure off. At first it seemed like automatic writing, hardly made any sense, was poorly spelled and punctuated..I used it to get the grief OUT of my body. It's really hard to talk to friends about this because they might not be able to listen. It's a lot to ask of someone, I think but even the right friends have limits. I decided I would have fun with my friends and work through my grief with a therapist and with some self directed healing. One important thing I explored was self comforting, going to the spa, staying grounded and not demanding too much of myself for awhile. Be good to yourself.

I really hope you find some relief soon. It is hard but FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Seek help when you need it.

If you would like to private message, please feel free.

Sincerely,
Lele