More thoughts on confusion: suppose we think we identify where our T has said or done something related more to his/her issues than to ours. What do we do then? Do we think we can cope with discovering that (assuming it is real), or not? What if the T does this sort of thing frequently? Is it dangerous to us or not? To me it certainly feels dangerous most of the time -- I know why that should be, considering my personal history. Can I deal with it now? Do I really want this new "learning opportunity"?