Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
Reparenting as a term is controversial I think because some people took it to the extremes of bottle feeding, rebirthing and having the client live with them. I think it takes a client with a fairly advanced ego state, who can see reality and who does not want to become dependent. I myself do not want my T to be my mother, I do not want to become dependent on her, I do not want to be rescued. I worked hard to get where I am in life on my own and I don't want or need someone to come in and take all of that away from me. What I do need is someone who genuinely cares, who genuinely believes in me as a human being, who is willing to really get inside and get next to me as I go through this process.
The more I think about it I think a lot of it is actually like 'traditional' therapy, just a little more intense and maybe a little more intimate (in the purely platonic sense of the word, just two individuals becoming psychologically close).
I can see how some would be creeped out by it but maybe a part of that is fear, or maybe part of that is just that it really isn't what some people see would help them. That's entirely individual and of course, each to their own.
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Yeah I agree here. I mean I have my own adult life I like very much.
I guess I'd best explain it as that my T holds a place for me that is outside of time, where all aspects of me are welcome and can seek healing.
Its not a do over. My T isn't going to make me peanut butter. Sandwiches and tuck me in. But she CAN teach me what it feels like to be deeply loved, and that requires accessing some very child like spaces.
I mean, my adult self does not somehow exist apart from those unmet childhood needs.those needs are a driving force in my life whether I acknowledge it or not.
So its not as if I become someone else in T. But I allow myself to be vulnerable in a way I usually am not.
And I DO think it requires a certain attitude as a client. I know who I am. I do not want my T to be my mom. I want my life that I have now, just with out the pain and struggle.
My inner little bay claims ME as my true mother and protector, not my T. I imagine that if I actually wanted her to REALLY be my mother this process could be disastrous. I want aspects of bring parented, not the whole thing. I don't want to go home with her...