Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterious153
 Jobs--During the last seven years, it reduced my ability to handle stressful jobs resulting in "job hopping" rather than "climbing the ladder". And after the attempt, I was unable to work at all for a year. I currently only work on temporary assignments from home (one company I worked for prior to my attempt still employs me). So now I am part of the "gig" economy. I no longer work the way I used to (I used to sometimes work a 50-55 hour week), instead, I am with an employer that only requires a 20 hour week and the schedule is flexible. Thank goodness my husband still really works. I no longer make very much money and the thought of applying for other jobs and explaining my "period of unemployment" makes me anxious. My spouse doesn't want me to work full time. I'm grateful and happy not to go back to a real job but now have nothing saved for my retirement. If I had been more stable, I wouldn't have raided my retirement accounts!
Relationships--it has mostly been repaired with my spouse but I worry about how my stability and attempt affected my children. They isolate a lot.
|
It's like you're describing my life... and honestly hearing that a real person has also had their working life affected by mental illness makes me feel so much more validated and worthy... Thank you so much.
I've been job hopping since my teens, and I'm now in my thirties. I've had so many jobs and kept none of them for more than three years. More than one of them I've quit because I was having dark thoughts and was convinced I wouldn't need money where I was going. Kinda dramatic I know, but it sure did make sense at the time...
As for OP's original question of getting back what's been lost, I think it's a question of reworking your thought process and redefining what success means. In my opinion you're very successful. The fact that I'm able to work a part time job at all is successful in a way. Even though my brain likes to tell me it's not.
I'm still working on that thought process thing I guess, heh.