Why is it so hard? I know I need to separate from this right now but this is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know we care about each other very deeply but it's not our time. I don't want to lose her.

Yes, I can go out with the woman I met here - she's been supportive and one of the few people I can call a friend here. I can't be in a serious relationship while being in love with my ex. I just don't want to lose my ex all together (or lose complete contact because the distance will end us) - I still have hope (even if it takes years).

She was supposed to come to visit in December. Now this may not happen. We're not certain this is the best idea...

I appreciate your responses. I'm still in pain - crying at random times.