Well these things are why I sought help a number of years ago for depression for the first time. It made no damn sense why I was depressed... and hard for my wife to understand. But now that she does understand.. and my closest friends understand... well they help me out of it. Or at least they've learned how to not trigger me into .. something unstable and not good. Education of the people around me has absolutely been the best thing.

The hardest part of the depression for me.. is the loss of interest in my passion and means of income.. swordsmithing. When I'm depressed I'm useless in the shop. I'm far more distracted than normal. I only do things that are ... something other than what I need to do. I start treating my customers like crap, ignore emails, not send things out. I check Facebook. I start getting mad at myself and then it goes down hill for sure. The only thing that I can see to avoid this is what I'm doing now. Being treated for BPII.. and hope that the lamictal keeps me out of the black. Right now I'm in the red and enjoying ever damned thing that I do.