I think I've done a lot of things when I was feeling impulsive or depressed that was very destructive to my sexuality. Like that Camgirl thing which I would do anything to forget that I did that to gain money. Honestly so disgusted and so ashamed that I would treat myself in such a disrespectful way that doesn't even make sense with who I really am. I think about the two weeks on there and I just want to vomit. The good news about this is I at least I have the solace to know that I wasn't acting out in my true self bit I was acting out in my unbalanced and impulsive self. It's pretty much everything that I hate about society that people seem to care more about having sex than getting close to one and another. Like I said I am very disgusted with myself and very disappointed in my behaviour basically I want to have treatment so I don't end up harming myself in moments of impulsivity.