A couple of weeks ago, I thought I had finally got over ex T and her rejecting me. It felt as though I had accepted the fact that she will never see me as a client ever again and I was looking forward and feeling optimistic about finding a new T who can help me move forward. I realized that ex T was probably not as good as I had previously thought (probably because I was idealizing again ) and that her rejecting me could actually be an opportunity to find someone better. Without realizing, I had gone a whole week without thinking about ex T, how she rejected me etc. compared to obsessing about her on a daily basis.

Fast forward a week and I don't know what's changed or what has triggered me but I'm back to square one, obsessing again. I have been trying to work out what the purpose of this obsessing is and I think it's because I miss the connection I had with her and obsessing is a way of keeping that alive (for me at least).