If the question is more about feeling secure in the relationship, is it possible for you to do after so much trust has been lost? I mean, this might have been a great question for her to ask when you had your big rupture, when she did not want to talk about it.

I guess I see trust as fundamental to this kind of arrangement with a therapist, and it can take a long time to build--years even--and does not happen with shortcuts she took with you early on and then stopped (the cooing and holding and the love bombing--which is very different than the somatic therapy you are getting from the other therapist).

I feel growing and greater trust now, at almost 2 years, and I think a good part of that is due to being treated like a human being, not a mental health patient, and being accepted for who I am, as I am, without talk about behaviors and other clinical and dehumanizing techniques. So that's what I would say I want from the relationship, is to not feel worse about myself than I already do.

There is more, regarding what therapy itself looks like, but this is what I would want from the relationship part--to be able to share what's going on with me and not be made to feel like a creep, to feel like a human being to another human being.