Eight years is long enough to wait for someone to get to where they can commit. What you want to keep waiting for is never going to happen, so give it up. You having a rough year gave your boyfriend lots of opportunities to be supportive. He didn't really step up, or you'ld feel better about him.

Your boyfriend has a right to be who he is . . . and probably can't be anything else. What he is doesn't match up with what you want in a relationship. Stop waiting for change.

So far, this relationship has been held together by you being the accomodating one. You're getting sick of that, and I don't blame you. He's reasonably content with the tacit understanding between you two that you will accomodate him. So he has no reason to want this to be over. Now, you want out, but you're waiting for him to be okay with that. Keep waiting, and all you'll get is older.

Start small, if you want. Next time he comes up with plans for the two of you, tell him you're unavailable. Like: "No, Honey, I won't be able to do that with you because I'll be real busy with something else. I have this drawyer full of stuff that I need to sort out." Just make yourself less and less available to fit into his agenda, and you'll be on your way to winding down this long, slow march to nowhere that he's been leading you on.