This may turn out to be a very long post, apologies for that.

I have been diagnosed with cyclothymia, apparently I'm on the bipolar spectrum but she doesn't want to diagnose me with bipolar until she's sure. That's fair enough.

I have been mentally ill with psychosis for all my teenage years. I had a break from illness for almost a year, till it came back with a vengeance.

I now suffer with extreme mood swings. I'm never happy though. It's either so depressed I cut and want to die, sob for hours and become suspicious of everyone. Or, it's having an urge to do drastic things, spending, getting tattoos, cutting my hair drastically different. I don't even want to do these things, but the urge is so strong and I get extremely irritated if people get in my way. I feel full of energy when I'm going through these phases which have come and gone for the past two months, combined with depression. It's either depressive or the other extreme every single day and I'm sick of it.

I just need advice. Any advice or words of wisdom would be so so appreciated. My family are very supportive but are just as clueless as me. Thank you for reading.