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Originally Posted by Wikbit
You must have had a real connection with your x-t. Otherwise, you wouldn't give them a passing thought. What was the reason things didn't work out?
For me, it was because someone else directly interfered in my therapy. My x-t had no respect for me and was looking for some kind of adventure with the obnoxious 3rd party. He took from me, the 3rd party took from me and I am left with nothing but broken relationships thanks to them.
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I had been in therapy 2 years which was the maximum time she could see me. I left on good terms (or so I thought) and she said any time in the future I would be welcome to return. I was then transferred to group therapy which was a terrible therapy experience. I persevered with it and stuck it out although I know now I should have walked away. I tried to go it alone for some months afterwards, writing a journal, reading about my diagnoses, talking with people going through similar struggles etc. but it wasn't enough. I contacted ex T fairly recently to ask if I could see her for further therapy and she declined on the grounds that it wasn't ethical.
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Originally Posted by mostlylurking
Sometimes things are just two steps forward, one step back, and there's not much rhyme or reason to it. I think the important thing is to be patient with yourself, and to not lose heart (after all, you did spend a week without thinking about her and that will happen again, and more frequently in the future). You were badly treated by someone who knew you extremely well and was supposed to be in a helping profession, and that is not a betrayal that you can get over lightly. But I know from my own experience and lots of others here that there are great T's out there, though there are an alarming number of terrible ones. You know more about therapy now, and you will be able to find someone good sometime soon I hope. Maybe try distracting yourself with a list of questions you want to ask the next prospective T? Like about how they handle terminations, for starters.  |
Thanks for the advice. I will give that a go.
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I agree. You're mourning a loss of a relationship. It's not necessarily a completely forward path. It certainly sounds like a few romantic breakups I've had, where I'd think I was doing better, then suddenly be really sad and missing the person again. (Then there were some breakups where I just went on with my life and barely gave them another thought.) So don't beat yourself up over missing T. It's natural. 
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Thank you. It just angers me that I am affected this way while ex T most likely hasn't given it a second thought.
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Originally Posted by MariaLucy
I think I am in the same boat!!
Two steps forward and one step back
So sorry you too are going through this.
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I'm sorry you are too. Iknow how much it sucks.
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Originally Posted by Starry_Night
thats what i went through also when my ex t dumped me out of nowhere. i am so glad i found a new therapist though (after two years of looking) because she was worth the wait and so mch better than ex t. i still have days where i miss ex t and get upset about what happened but at least those days are rare now.
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Thank you Starry Night. That gives me hope.