Does anyone else have this problem with a family member? For years, my sister had been nibbling me to death like a duck. A few months ago, I dropped her. That was the second time I'd broken off with her, and this time I won't allow anyone else in the family to cajole me into opening up familial relations with her again. Her pattern: disagree with every teeny, tiny thing I'd say; privately criticize what I would say to her sons -- from the time they were teens, till now when they are in their 40s. Like one time her teenage youngest dyed his hair pitch black and cut it in the latest male teen style. I told him it looked nice. She later said I should not have said that to him because she hated the way he looked! This is especially interesting coming from her -- when she was a teen, she dressed those days' equivalent of a goth - black clothes, black lipstick, white powered face. As for nibbling me -- she accused me of saying things I did not say, and denied saying things that she did say. We talked on the phone once a week, and these conversations were very confusing -- crazy-making? -- to me. But more recently -- I caught her in the act of this fake denial behavior. We started communicating via email, and I had all the proof I needed to show that I did NOT say the things she accused me of saying. and discovered that the things she denied saying,, she actually did say -- in print.. That did it. I had proof of her nibbling and denials. So I dropped her. Two of my best friends AND my therapist said these exact words, no prompting from me: "You are up and down, up and down, with your sister. " How true! That really work me up, too. We'd communicate well, and I would be SO HAPPY that THINGS WERE WORKING OUT. 2-3 days later, the old ways of nibbling and nit picking would return, and I'd be VERY UPSET. As for my sister herself: I believe she is a very confused and lost person, despite her outward appearance having a beautiful house, gorgeous clothes, a beautiful face and body. I do not think she is deliberately trying to hurt me. But we can't agree on anything at all. I'm guessing that she has not told anyone else in our extended family about our estrangement.. That would damage her image, and she is very much a family-secrets type person anyway.