Zadie Smith said the following words:

"You are never stronger...than when you land on the other side of despair"

I understand.....I know what it feels like to have no family that is there for you and is a root of your misery, no friends, to be abandoned to have the few people who get you and love you die.......i feel this.....to want to end it all.

I will lie in bed at night and weep, begging god to let me die to take it all away, because the pain inside is too much to bear. and the loneliness eats away at me..

but i am here, and every morning I wake up and it is a new day. even though it may fall back into the misery at the end of this day, it doesn't matter, because there is a reason why i am here -- and there is a reason why you are here.

One reason is that you have touch me deeply and make me feel more alive and worthwhile in being able to tell you that I CARE - WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU - I CARE IF YOU DIED. The world would miss you.. every time a person dies the universe cries......i believe this. if i died the time i tried to take my life, i wouldv'e missed out on the opportunities to live and see what i have done so far, and loved and lost and how i grow. and getting older, see that it is worth it all.

in one hour, even a minute, so much can happen. and i also found out that we need ourselves, only ourselves, to get through this life. when you see and belief in the wonder that is you -- you're strength and capabilities to do so much -- you will find hope and love within.

i sound corny, but it is true.

one day in restrospect, when you look back at your struggles, you will see how wonderous they will seem to be. really. and what you know to leave behind.

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”
― Agatha Christie

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami

Stay strong.......Courage!!!!

please post or pm me if you feel like you're in trouble. please.