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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert
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Wow, how rude! This person doesn't sound like a real friend at all! Actions speak louder than words! No one is so busy that they'd go 6 weeks before having the time to return a call! And the fact that she was so cold in her response in an email instead is very telling!
It sounds to me that she might be pulling the "slow fade". Some people do that when they're no longer interested in being friends with someone for whatever reason. Has she always been like that? I would've deleted her from FB a long time ago!
Ignore her and move on. Make better friends and focus on the people who are more considerate and respectful of your feelings. I've had my share of bad friends too. I put up with a lot of crap that I never should've tolerated in the past. One "friend" will often go for two weeks or more before emailing me.
The funny thing is that she'll use the "busy" excuse" too. Recently she kept on saying oh, let's get drinks sometime, but then she never follows through. Well, I read a review of hers on this social site, and guess what? She DID go out for drinks with another friend recently. Obviously she isn't as busy as she says she is. Ugh!
I'm seriously thinking about just ignoring her and blowing her off for good now. I think that it's beyond ridiculous that I went for 9 months w/o seeing her. She lives only half an hour away and she doesn't have any kids. I cut her some slack since she had to work a second job up until recently.
Enough is enough though. She has time for other people, but not me. I know that people do get busy at times, but 9 months? And she's always trying to make plans that never happen which makes me think that she's stringing me along since she can sense me slipping away, idk for sure.
Life is to short to deal with rude people who drive you crazy! Just dump them and try to find better friends!
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Exactly. Her actions (not returning my call) speak louder than her words (her 2 paragraph email response 6 weeks letter that detailed in 2 paragraphs everything that keeps her busy). That she wouldn't set aside 5 to 10 minutes to return my call 6 weeks ago, shows me that my friendship isn't a priority in her life.
Then there's my cousin. He gets tagged in Facebook photos of all the things he's doing on the weekends which pop up in my newsfeed, and just sting slightly because of his excuse that he's too busy to get together. Then once I gently pointed out his "busy" excuse to him, writing that we can just stay in touch via Facebook despite the fact that we live 15 minutes away from each other, he turned off his Facebook chat. Why should he and my (former) friend be offended that I called them both out on blowing me off. How dumb do they think I am?
I'm in my late 40s so it gets harder to make close friends at my age. It's not impossible, but it's a rarity. But ignoring either of them isn't hard, when they make zero effort to stay in touch.
Your friend sounds like a total jerk to me. She's clearly making other people a priority to hang out with, but not you, based on what you've written. Sorry to hear that. Once, I invited a friend to see a play with me. She was late (!) and acted like she was sitting next to a complete stranger throughout the play.
Then afterwards, she asked me what I was doing. I looked at her funny, and told her I was going to go home. Then she suggested we go out for a bite to eat since she had 2 hours before her next social-hang out with a different friend. I declined and went home miffed. Then she shockingly called me to make plans and the DAY OF our plans, she cancelled and she actually said to me on the phone, "I got a better invite to hang out with so-and-so, so I need to cancel." WTF! I told her that I thought she was a real jerk for canceling like that, and she laughed and said, "well no one cares what you think do they" and then she hung up. Shortly after that, I faded out of our mutual social circle of friends and stopped socializing with that group of people altogether. This friend was in her late 30s at the time, acting like she was in high school.
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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert
Oh, I do have other friends who are usually pretty busy too, but they make more time for me than she ever has! It's really a lame excuse used to "politely" blow someone off when it's used to often IMHO.
I suspect that this "friend" of mine is just looking for someone to email when she's bored at work or when she needs someone to "listen" to her problems. Ugh! If things don't change soon, I might either tell her how I feel or just stop contacting her for good. It seems like I'm only her "friend" when she needs someone to listen to her vent.
To me, that's not a real friendship at all. I have ended a friendship with a woman who I thought was my best friend after not seeing her for months. If that wasn't bad enough, she blew me off at the last minute 3 times in a row with the exact same excuse about having her period each time! No one gets their period that often! I had it with her b.s, so I told her how I felt and moved on.
People who truly care about you don't consistently hurt and ignore you all the time for no good reason IMHO!
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Yes, it sounds like this friend of yours uses you as her back-up plan, her time-filler with no intention of any real follow-through. I'd drop her like a hot potato. But that's just me. It's not real friendship. The fact that the other woman - a good friend of yours too - blew you off at the last minute 3 times in a row (exactly what happened to me with the other friend I just mentioned), it was the right thing for you to drop her friendship.
I agree with you that people who truly care about you don't consistently hurt and ignore you all the time for no good reason. And finding those people who actually like and care about us, is the hard part in life. Good friends -- really good friends -- are hard to find, and hard to hold on to.