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mindwrench · Sep 25, 2016, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dangerousanimals

I have both.

Want an exercise in futility? Be employed as an editor before your OCD diagnosis. Some of my checks revolve around grammar, and words feeling "right." How can I even judge how words feel?

Took forever to get through my projects. Sometimes I can't even post stuff online because it never seems right. I get portions of songs stuck in my head...never a whole line, but part of a line.

I get violent images stuck in my head on repeat.

Possible trigger:

Smashing my head in until there's nothing left--avoid stairs, bricks, the corners of countertops and the corners of walls, etc. Thinking I'm going to fall into traffic and get run over...almost every time I walk by a road. Couldn't leave my apartment by myself when I first moved out because I was convinced my elderly neighbor was going to murder me because she kept talking to me. So that image was stuck in my head.

I used to think I was being followed by snipers, and I'd hide from helicopters because Area 51, secret aliens, I knew too much, whatever. Now, I'm scared of submarines...thankfully I encounter those much less often than helicopters. I can joke about the submarines when I'm not near one, but when I'm around one it's no laughing matter. There's actually a word for this phobia--submechanophobia. Why is this even a thing?

Previous therapist and meds doctor thought my distressing, intrusive thoughts were BP 1 and psychosis...current doctors thought it was OCD causing my psychotic-seeming symptoms.

Not that I have any editing skills or sense of grammar, but I often edit my posts on this forum, and write long posts only to delete them immediately. I get an uneasy feeling when I notice the edit button is gone from a post I made when I go back to reread it for the 10th time. I guess I'm just now realizing I do that even when depressed.

Interesting food for thought about the ocd causing psychosis. I mostly think it is my bp1 mania causing mine, but I have experienced it at other times. Similar to yours, mine is mostly themed with making the wrong people mad at me for something, and them using all kinds of resources to spy on me, or catch me off guard.