Im a female and have also been wondering if I have covert narsisist or social anxiety disorder. That is how I found your write up, I'm amazed as I kept reading that you almost had the same problems I did. I too have ocd but it has calmed down some. i don't get anxiety from bad thoughts anymore it's like somthing just switched of and the bad thoughts have become part of my personality? I also have very low self esteem and am very sensitive to what other people think. In front of most people I just keep my mouth shut for fear of sounding stupid. I'm also narsistic. If I say somthing stupid I beat myself up mentally or if I say something clever I have such pride. And I love compliments, they give me a sort of high. But one thing I am not very controlling, which is usually true for a narsistic. I to wish I could change.
There must be some link between ocd and narsissm or self centred ness