Bigmike, I am totally sorry to hear about the state of your family. My family is dysfunctional,but not as bad as it was when my parents were still alive. They died at 85 and 91, something like that. I still do not trust anyone in my family. I think my family's dysfunctions were very different from yours. The only persons who go behind people's backs and say bad things are my sister- in- law and my ex- brother- in- law. Those two are thick as thieves and wreak havoc on the rest of us. Sister-in- law goes behind my sister's back, talks to my sister's ex, who is the father to her two grown sons, SIL poisons his mind against my sister, and then he poisons the minds of his and my sister's sons against my sister. Only trouble is that my sister refuses to present her side of these stories to the sons. After all, she is a Positive Person!!!!! Nothing Bad Should Ever Be Discussed or Thought About.