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Old Sep 26, 2016, 03:42 AM
MariaLucy MariaLucy is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 169
I have a huge lot I could say on this topic.
I have had at least six T's attempt to re- parent me.
They all helped me at the time but had varying degrees of crash endings.

I did need re-parenting. I experienced such trauma in my 0-3 years of life that I most sincerely needed help and loving into being able to exist properly.
My (now recently ex) t was very loving, kind and fatherly to me. I loved it. I appreciated all his kindnesses. But I fear I burned him out.
but even so, the kindness and love and care and hugs and listening and support and educating and mentoring and commitment he showed me, taught me so much and I never got it from my parents so it was desperately needed.

I was vulnerable to mother or father figures all my life. And when I say vulnerable, I mean REALLY terribly dangerously vulnerable. The need in me was so strong that it was like being hypnotised if a likely parent figure came into view. I just was almost star struck with longing and need. But early on, a well known therapist explained to me that OF COURSE I felt this way. I was trying to mend the bit that never got to grow. So he helped me not be ashamed of it and to speak openly of it and my (now ex) T was also okay about me revealing the depth of need and longing.
And I have grown to be able to parent my younger more fragile self now. He taught me how. He did it and I learned. Brilliant. A friend of mine who is a psychologist say that most problems stem from attachment problems in childhood and so building a steady and secure attachment figure as an adult is crucial.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
junkDNA, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8