Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
Here's the thing. I've said this repeatedly yet you and a couple of others either imply that my expectations are too high, or that I'm over-reactive. Not helpful. Not relevant to the conversation. And it's kinda mean.
What she did to me was rude. When you create expectations and then don't follow through, that means that you're okay with disappointing the other person, because they're just not that important to you. My (former) friend's level of busy-ness didn't increase, it just changed locations.
The point of my thread was to start a discussion about whether its right or wrong to use the word "busy" with how people prioritize their friendships, based on what has happened to me. There seems to be your side, who tells me to lighten up and the other side (that I'm on), which is that not respecting the other person's feelings in the context of using "busy," as the reason, is not the right way to handle a waning friendship, as seems to be the case here for me. I would never leave a friend hanging, and haven't. It's just not something I do. I don't need to hide behind the "Busy" excuse like a lot of people. That's not me.
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Have I been told " I'm busy" sure of course been there done that and bought lots of tshirts. It sucks it's hurtful . But I have learned that this happens over a lifetime.
People run there lives as they want, apparently as previous mentioned this person doesn't value the friendship as much as you do. That is life , you can't control other peoples priorities, trying to figure out why people do what they do is a waste of time and is often pointless.
If 2 people have been thick as thieves best friends for decades and someone doesn't get back to you in a "reasonable "amount of time. I would follow up and hope to get some answers .
Life doesn't always wrap up every relationship that trails off with a cute red bow and closure is complete.
As for Facebook and even here on PC, there are times that I am just pretty "non verbal " as my friends and I describe it, I just don't want to have a discussion or a chat, I often roam roam around Facebook posting pics or memes or lurk on here, or get lost on tumblr for hours! I'm not being rude I'm taking care of myself, self care is important to me.
If a friend sent me a text or Facebook message ( I seriously haven't emailed anyone in years , in fact I might only check my email a couple times a month) and was in trouble I would respond as soon as I could, but if it wasn't important I will respond when I can or want too and my friends " get that"
I don't know your age , obviously you email people maybe your friend just doesn't like to email. I loathe it . The few people that have emailed me , I often respond with a I'm tied up with stuff and can't really respond right now ..... I do this with my aunt a lot ... Why ? Because she sends long emails that requires me to sit and respond to her whole email and sometimes I am just not in the mood to do it at all . Am I a horrible person ? No ! I am a person that isn't going to respond to every one all the time as soon as they email ( ick) text or message.
In your situation ??? Sure if you want to call it rude for someone to say there busy that's fine , it fits in your mind as such, nothing wrong or right about it .
I have for instance met people here on PC And we will PM back and forth for days or weeks maybe a month and then s/he or I just kinda let it go... There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Some people I have to actively refuse to respond because they are what I consider emotional vampires always wanting or needing something. That stresses me out big time and it's not healthy for me so I have boundaries.
Lots of responses given to you is based off that persons feeling about this type of situation.
Life is full of good and bad and I learned long ago to pick my battles and where to focus my energy on.
Take care