(((((((hugs)))))

it's understandable you feel this way. it was your life, and you really enjoyed it

you are only 30, so you have plenty of time to think about something else you might want to do and take the steps to make it happen (it won't happen overnight, but maybe something will come in to your head), a sort of ah, yes, I could do that type moment.

as for me.. yes, I do know how you feel. I never really had a plan for my life at all, and actually at times feel really guilty about it- here I am, being given the gift of life, and all I'm doing with it is throwing it away

before the days of MI, i did briefly think about being a computer technitian- but the hospital visits, the intense MI, lack of qualifications all played a part.. and when i was told i couldn't work, that was really the nail in the cofin for that idea anyway

by the way wwelcome to the site. hope it helps